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GUIDE FOR MEN

Fear Rejection?

Imagine this. You see this gorgeous woman sitting at the table next to you. Your heart pumps, your pulse quickens. You quickly think of what to say to her. You try to get up and walk over, but for some reason an invisible force holds you back. You try to move your legs. They're as heavy as lead. You curse your inability to overcome your fear of rejection. She gets up and walks away; leaving you. Perhaps forever. You want to kick yourself. In a vain attempt to correct matters, you wait at that same spot days after, hoping that she will return.

Overcoming Your Fear Of Rejection

"It's the things you don't say that you regret the most" Look at it this way. Just imagine yourself unhappy because for one split second, you hesitated and threw away the chance to start something together. Your whole life down the drain.

For your whole life, you'll be asking yourself "And what if..." "If only I had the guts to..." You'll be miserable as you'll keep questioning yourself, thinking of things that might have been. You see, if you had at least asked herself out, you'll know that you tried and time will heal your soul. You'll be able to look back and laugh the whole thing off. "Hah! What an idiot I was back then. Imagine, I dared to ask that girl out. Boy, that was fun." So go. Take a chance. You'll never get another one again.

"Just do it" Sounds easy doesn't it but we all know it isn't since all of us, at one point in our lives, have struggled with overcoming rejection. My advice is to just do it and get it over with.

Okay. Okay. Don't switch off the computer and rush down to ask your one true love out just yet. If you don't know anything about asking a girl out, you can't possibly hope to succeed. Before you go out and do something rash, read up on the next chapter.

Asking A Girl Out On A Date

Now, what's the best way to go about asking someone out on a date? Here's what NOT to do: "Would you like to go out with me?" This may sound like a logical way to express your interest in her but believe me, unless she already harbors a crush on you, it rarely works.
This does two things. Firstly, it sets you up for rejection. It's easy for her to say "No, I'm not free." You know she doesn't want to go out with you simply because you have not even specified a time yet.
Not only is this very demoralizing, it will also make you lose confidence when asking other girls out to go dating. Secondly, you feel scared to ask her out because you know how easy it's for her to reject you. Bad flirting technique.

The Magic Line
Instead, why don't you say this line? It's proven to work. Memorize this opening line. Remember it. Bookmark this page and keep looking at it. Never forget it.

"Hey! I would really like to get together and do something with you sometime."

Now, she can't say, "Sorry, I'm not free" (By far the most popular rejection line) because you haven't set the time yet. In fact, you have not even asked her for a date yet! Now is your chance to observe her reaction (refer to our section on Flirting, Signs women give when are attracted to men). If it's negative, forget about it. Remember, you haven't asked her out yet so you haven't been rejected! Using this method will protect you from rejection and make you more confident the next time you try and ask a single woman out. But if she lights up and says "OK" or if she emits any one of the signals explained in the Trigger Flirting Manual, continue with:

"You know, I would really like to go out with you when you're free. How about Lunch at Memories of China on Tuesday?"
Firstly, she can't say, "Sorry not free." simply because it'll make her sound like a complete idiot since she has already said that she would like to go out with you. By all means try saying it out aloud yourself. If she really is not free that day, simply ask her when she will be able to make it. Secondly, she has to be free sometime right? Using this proven technique will ensure that you score when asking single women out.

Look, this method isn't fool proof. If she does not want to go out with you, there is no way you can force her to go out on a date. It may go something like this.

Him: What about Saturday?
Her: Not free.
Him: Sunday?
Her: I'm busy.
Him: Next Saturday?
Her: Sorry, I really cannot make it.

He took the hint and ended the conversation. However, on the plus side, it is of interest to note that because he said "Hey! I would really like to get together and do something with you sometime" She had to reply with, "Okay, like what?" and he was never rejected outright. This is much less painful than having, "Would you like to go out?" answered with an outright, "No." Another method she could have used to dissuade him would be to explain that she already had a boyfriend.

This method is best used when asking face to face. It might be easier for you to ask her out on the phone but remember, it is also easier for her to reject you on the phone as well. And never, ever, use ICQ.

Week Nights VS Weekends

Avoid asking a single girl out on a first date on a Saturday or Friday night. This is because if she is someone popular and much sought after, the odds of her being busy are so high that she may have to turn you down, even if she does want to go out with you on a date which creates feelings of uneasiness straight away.

It indicates that you don't have a date for the weekend with someone else and therefore you may have trouble getting dates.

The weekend implies formal dating, so the pressure to create a lasting relationship is there. The last thing you would want to do is scare her. If you do get the date, she would have to turn down other, perhaps more desirable offers because of her commitment to you, and go into the evening regretting
having to turn down others. After all, she has no way of knowing whether she
is going to have fun or not.

On the other hand, if you ask her out during the week, you imply that you are busy on the weekend. In other words, you have an active social life. The chances of her being free are greater.

Week nights imply casual dating, a good atmosphere to get to know her. And you have turned a dull weeknight into a good time for her.

Dating